It’s nights like these where i truly realize how important it is to confide in one’s own independence. No one is going to live or die for you. Other people are not going to press pause on their life for you. A phone call with advice and comfort can only last for so long until you have to hang up and be alone in your thoughts. I much appreciate the wonderful environment around me, but happiness and perspective doesn’t completely rely on location. I thrive off of the passion that other people have, and how I can contribute a significant impact in the lives that I interact with on a day to day basis. However, I realized that this internal feeling of loneliness that interferes with the way I perceive myself can be pleasant if I look at it in the mindset that I am making what I want for myself. I’m learning to embrace my thoughts and feelings instead of running away from them. Never has there been a time where I completely gave up, and even then, the mere fact that I am still alive provides a greater hope that I can be a much better person tomorrow than I am today. Grow. I have a lifetime ahead of me. A lifetime in my own head. A lifetime in this body. A lifetime that embodies substance, passion, discovery, and the beauty of being alive.
Being there for myself is becoming more comforting than it ever was before. It’s hard as hell, but worth it.